The 5th Annual Wikipedia Review WP:DICK of Distinction Awards Pageant is now underway!


And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...

the winner of the 2011 WP:DICK of Distinction Award is: CIRT!

Cirt stands ready to defend the planet against vile persons of unorthodox religious persuasions, using the power of Wikipedia! Evil-doers and offbeat-believers, you can't hide from CIRT! He's Cirtifiable!

And he is the proud recipient of this year's Jimboâ„¢ statuette:


The WP:DICK Runner-Up is the ever-unpopular Georgewilliamherbert (T-C-L-K-R-D) .

Before we proceed to our other awards presentations, we bring you this announcement from the Program and Catering Committee:

Wikipedia WP:DICK of a Lifetime™ Achievement Award

The Academy wishes to recognize two Wikipedia administrators who have distinguished themselves over the years, but who are not among this year's nominees. Their long-term mendacity, abusiveness, and general WP:DICKishness continues to inspire bad admins today, even as these pioneers of biased and partisan editing sink into myth and legend.

Our award wishes not only to honor them, but to remind viewers and members of the Academy that they are Forgotten, but not Gone. They continue to haunt the dark passages of Wikipedia, like the Ghost of Banquo or the Phantom of the Opera, propelling the shadowy plots of AN/I and elsewhere, but seldom seen.

The legendary evil of SlimVirgin (T-C-L-K-R-D) was honored way, way back in 2006 when she was given the Review's first-ever award for "Most Abusive Admin", a fore-runner of the WP:DICK of Distinction Award™ we know today. She was nudged from the top award in 2007 by the ever-unpopular Cyde, but came from behind as "Miss Incongeniality". In 2008, Slim (or Sweet Blue Water or Sunsplash or several other identities) again took the top award, as well as the Tag-Team Event, for which she was again dishonored in 2010. Slim -- in her heyday -- was the topic of daily conversation here at the Review, racking up well over 100 topics, 4000 posts, and tens of thousands of views. She is reviled by current and former Wikipedia editors from across the political spectrum. Despite her reputation as a crazed college drop-out Canadian shut-in -- or because of it -- SlimVirgin is truly a legend in our time.

SlimVirgin's achievements go far beyond the routine unfair banning or other Wiki-misdemeanors. In pursuit of power and her biases, she has sockpuppeted (while banning socks left and right), revealed the peccadilloes of other admins (while covering up hers with deleted edits), defended the master sockpuppet MantanMoreland, and amassed files of purportedly private checkuser data. SlimVirgin has been at the forefront of nearly every type of wiki-abuse except for bestiality (that's FT2), amassing over a hundred thousand Wikipedia actions in rabid 36-hour editing sessions. When it comes to WP:DICKishness, That's Achievement!

But we do not honor SlimVirgin alone. In her early years she was abetted at every turn by an even more mysterious character, Jayjg (T-C-L-K-R-D) . Jay's identity is unknown, even to himself! Like SlimVirgin, his abuse has been mildly punished by Wikipedia's impotent ArbCom, but he remains a powerfully abusive admin, banning on a whim, and causing editors to run in fear from articles that attract his interest. While Jayjg has been mentioned in nearly every awards ceremony, he has never won the top award. This is an oversight that we wish to correct this year.

So please join us in a spirited round of hisses and boos as we present the 2011 WP:DICK of A Lifetime™ Achievement Award to SlimVirgin and Jayjg. Their horrid behaviour will not (and should not) be soon forgotten.

But wait, there's more...


The Lifetime Underachievement Award goes to Will Beback (T-C-L-K-R-D) aka Willmcw aka User2004, the Walter Mitty of Rouge Admins. Will has never had the star quality of his colleagues SlimVirgin and Jayjg; where they were de-sysopped or topic-banned, he was merely admonished. His two candidacies for ArbCom went over like lead balloons. He has risen to his level of incompetence, becoming the co-OWNer (with SlimVirgin) of the LaRouche series of articles, and a major stakeholder in the Prem Rawat series, although he has not been permitted to actually drive the stake through Prem's heart. Will shall continue to plod away, monotonously pushing his POV, as long as there is a Wikipedia.




We now return to our regular awards presentation:


The winner of the Tag Team Event is The Porn Protection League:
Gmaxwell, Thogo, Shoemaker's Holiday, Kameraad Pjotr, Mercy, Abigor, Mattbuck et al

The winner is Ottava

The winner is Baseball Bugs

The winner is Scott MacDonald née Doc glasgow

The winner is MZMcBride



Congratulations to all our contestants, and we'll see you next year on the red carpet!

Very nice. Now, if only we could send the actual guilty parties some actual trophies......

I think it's worthy of note that three of the winners are Review members (four if you count SV.)

<3

Very nice. There's not a one I'd disagree with. Nice trophies, too. Though I wish Doc didn't have an 8 shot revolver-- what is that, a .22? The straight shooter deserves more than a popgun.

I'm surprised that Lady Antebellum did not beat out Doc. ;/

Or MZMcBride emerges from a giant egg!

Budget constraints. Maybe next year we'll have video.

Ah, that emoticon. One way, it's a heart, the other, it's a dunce with boobs. I wonder what Ottava means by it.

What about this?

Maybe he loves dunces with boobs?

As opposed to Dunces with Wolves?

I'm pretty sure Ottava doesn't like boobs at all. It was my assumption that he liked "undeveloped" 20 year olds based on how often they have come up in previous discussions. (Cue the whiny complaint to Somey. Go ahead, do the search for "undeveloped", I'll wait.)

Thank you so much to the Academy. It is a great honour to receive this reward, especially with so many excellent contenders. I would, of course, like to thank my mother and father, without whose visionary purchase of my first ZX Spectrum none of this would have happened.

There are so many people I need to thank tonight, without whose determination in defaming, persistence in pov-pushing, and outstanding indifference to multitudes of living people, none of this would have been possible. I applaud those who have dredged the pits of the internet to identify a host of otherwise forgotten people, and ensure Wikipedia would never allow anyone to overlook their contribution to humanity (or indeed their divorced spouse, embarrassing you-tube video, or parking fines).

So, I want to thank every Wikipedian who's campaigned for this: you have been outstanding in your diligence as you have devoted your editing to malign evil people, out cultists, categorise malefactors and generally use Wikipedia as a platform for whatever you have considered righteous.

Without you, I would not be here today.

I dedicate this award to the memory of Badlydrawnjeff.

Lovely. Almost up to the original "over-the-top":

I'm still waiting to hear Ottava's gracious acceptance speech.

I already gave it, see above.

We were all pretty sure you were capable of more than " <3 ", so that may be why we missed it... congrats, by the way.

Why would I say more? Who do you think I am, Abd? o.O

Miss Incongeniality?

I suppose such an honor will only improve my chances at my next RFA...